Squilchuck State Park

Squilchuck State Park

13 June 2009

I have a theory that if you keep kids active then you will have no issues at bedtime.

Our adventure to Squilchuck State Park began early Saturday morning with 4 kids and a dog.

Joe (13), Phoebe (7) and two foster children, for this trip we shall call John (7) and Tom (3). John and Tom had never been hiking in the woods before so this truly was an adventure.

If you drive along Squilchuck Road to the end you will reach the entrance of the state park. The signs on the barrier declare that the park is closed but you are still permitted to hike (WA State Parks & Rec). Adjacent to the gate is an area for parking off Mission Ridge Road. The road behind the barrier leads you to the lodge that was originally built in 1953 as a ski lodge. Due to budget cuts the lodge and amenities are closed.

Armed with water bottles, snacks and dryer sheets (as bug repellant) we took the first trail leading from the roadside. There are a number of trails leading from the road with the main trail approximately the width of a car. The beauty of this trail is that it is very easy going even for young children. The trail begins with a steady climb up the hillside behind the lodge and past the campsites.

The temperature was a comfortable 75°F walking below the tree cover. There is a lot to see along the way that will keep kids engaged. They enjoyed following the arrows attached to the trees showing the trail direction. There are beautiful wild flowers, eagles overhead, horse poop to navigate around and bugs buzzing around your ears. You also get the usual questions such as are there snakes and bears in these woods?

Every few minutes you hear…..there’s Alvin !! (Chipmunks to the uninitiated).

At the top of the hill the trail flattens and you follow a loop that is approximately a half mile in diameter. Along the loop the trail opens into a small meadow and there is a small natural pond.

The storm clouds above Mission Ridge look ominous and the thunder rolls along the valley. Apparently this is Gods tummy rumbling!

All told the hike took 2 hours round trip. Included were many water stops, the inspection of every ant hill along the trail, a snack break and an unplanned diaper change. (TIP: the used dryer sheets come in handy inside the diaper sack for the car ride home).

I would highly recommend this trail for young families with inquisitive children.

Time

Time is our greatest gift.

Time is our greatest commodity and yet it is the biggest thing that we want to waste. We wish that tomorrow will come. We wish for Spring. We wish that……….’something’ will be over.

We use time as form of discipline. How many of us put our children on time out; sending them to their room or to sit on the ‘naughty chair’. Now I agree that ‘time-out’ can be an effective form of discipline and I am certainly not advocating other forms of corporal punishment. How do we know that the tantrums from a toddler are not the cries for attention or the need to be with be with you? What I am advocating for is the use of time in a manner that will prevent discipline issues and will definitely improve relationships with our kids.

We all lead hectic lives in one way or another. We have work and meetings and shopping and cleaning and baseball and….etc. I for one spend a lot of time each day for my children. But can I say that I spend a lot of time with my children.

During softball/baseball season we run all over town almost every day of the week. Practices, games, T-ball and then other activities such as Scouts and church groups. We are very busy fulfilling the schedule of children’s activities and still maintain our list of items as employees and parents, husbands and wives. After we have finished ferrying our children to three different places on the same night, do we spend the time to listen and enjoy the enthusiasm of how well they played at first base or the line drive in the second inning. I know that when my teenager is excited she talks and talks and talks and the rambling is usually that fast that it is difficult to understand the detail of what she is saying. I have to admit that I know that I should pay more attention to the detail but I really am enjoying the fact that she is excited and willing to tell me all about it!

The other issue that I have with the use of time is the pressure that we put on ourselves and how quickly a situation can deteriorate.

The other day my little girl was driving herself nuts and getting louder, something to do with her socks not fitting right. I am usually at work at this time of the morning, but today I was off to do things around the house. It was 6.15 in the morning and my 6 year old was letting the world know she was struggling with her socks. My wife was busy with the other kids and we where all rushing to get ready so as not to miss the school bus. I did not understand with six pairs of socks on the floor why she was having such a hard time and my building stress did not improve the situation. Those moments are not the time to have a discussion about socks. However, later in the day it was important to spend some quiet time to understand the problem and to explain that freaking out does not help.

The same with teenagers. Most of the time they do not want to talk about things and will normally go from calm to explosion in seconds. We need to spend more time and allow the child to talk to us about anything. Give them the ability to express themselves. If there is an outburst or situation that requires discipline then go ahead and do that. At some point later it is important to spend time to discuss the situation.

There is no worse trigger for me from a child than to hear the words “I’m Bored”. It immediately sets me on edge and the statement never fails to arrive when you are in the middle of doing something. However, I am trying to teach myself that those are the instances when it is better to stop, show that you are listening and try to understand why they are bored. It is not your job to find them something to do or be their social secretary. It may be that all they really want is to spend some time with you. What could be better?

Grab your child when they are not busy, before the ‘I’m bored’ statement and go for a walk or ask for help with something, go get groceries together. The point is to spend time together and figure out what is going on.

I read somewhere that it is important to allocate one-on-one time with each of your children. I do not think it is a good idea to schedule an event or make a big deal. I would rather go for a walk with the dog and take my son and chat about all kinds of things. Have a boys only or girls only time.

I am confident that we are missing a lot from our kids with our busy lives. We need to make a conscious effort to slow down, listen, and spend time in an effort to understand.

It never ceases to amaze me that when I do spend time with my kids, how much I learn, I realize that their personalities are growing. Really what great kids they are!

Josh

My family and I returned to England to celebrate Christmas and New Year. It had been 10 years since we had spent Christmas with our parents and siblings. Alongwith the festivities I found the trip to be a time of reflection.

The news is currently filled with economic doom and gloom. Jobs are being lost and huge companies are declaring bankruptcy. With all of this going on I enjoyed my time even more sitting and chatting with my parents and catching up with brothers and sisters. Our families are relatively close, keeping in touch with phone calls, letters and emails. However, time spent together is enormously precious.

One morning I was in one of my reflective moments when my kids asked to go to the local park. Heading down the road we bumped into a boy who joined our walk and promptly introduced himself as Josh. Now Josh was quite the sight. The weather was cold and wet and here is a 10 year old boy walking along in a T-shirt with a bright yellow water pistol. He had a bright orange face due to the large bag of Doritos that he was enjoying.

Josh asked where we where from and was surprised when we told him we where visiting from America. I asked Josh where did he live?

"Maureens"

I did not know Maureen and all kinds of questions filled my mind.

"Maureens is the care house at the top of the street"

Ah. A lot of the questions were quickly answered. I asked Josh how long he had lived at Maureens?

"What day is it?"

I told him today was Saturday.

"I've lived at Maureens for 6 days".


My wife and I are registered foster parents in Washington State. I have seen a lot of kids like Josh. During the 2 years we have been fostering we have had 20 kids come through our home for varying lengths of time. I was beginning to wonder if I had a sign on my back advertising the fact that I was a foster parent.

Josh shared his chips with my kids and introduced them to a game of 'tick' with a waterpistol. I saw Josh several times during our visit, walking around the streets and hanging around the corner shop. The day after Christmas (boxing day), Josh was with a group of kids and he was proudly showing off his new bike and helmet.

One thing that fostering has taught my family and I is the value of what we have . Not just material things, but the time that we have together as a family, our ability to enjoy conversations together and share our thoughts, problems and dreams.

I know that Josh has no idea of the impact that he had during our short visit to the park. My children understand the value of the items that they own, but more importantly they appreciate how lucky they are. Each time I see kids like Josh and others that have visited my home, I have concerns for their future and wellbeing. All that we can do is offer them help along the road and wish them well. If only they knew and could understand the effect they have on our lives.

I wonder if my fosterkids introduce themselves and tell people they are living at Bernie's!

Josh, I wish you well and take care....